Sunday, December 6, 2009

Aisle vs. Window

Until now, I have always been a window type of gal. The thought of curling up against the window for a long nap while avoiding the constant barrage of service carts and flight attendants always seems appealing. (In reality, I can never get comfortable no matter where I am seating and I can never get a wink of sleep regardless of how tired I am). Well, after this most recent flight, I am officially a changed person. Attempting to be a good international traveler, I followed all the tips by eating healthy and drinking plenty of water. I boarded my 9 hour flight with visions of curling up with my pillow and dreaming the night away. Yeah right! Just moments into the flight, the overweight, middle-aged and balding man next to me fell into one of the deepest sleeps that I have ever witnessed. I am convinced he was not a person but a bear in hibernation. He snored so loudly that he was getting stares from people more than five rows in front of us. Of course, the cup of coffee and over 60 ounces of water that I had drank leading up to the flight started to catch up with me! At first I waited it out and thought that the man blocking my way to bladder comfort would soon wake up. Well, I was wrong. He slept right through dinner and some rocky turbulence. I tried all the tricks in the world to gently wake the man up. I "accidently" hit his arm while fumbling through my backpack. I turned my overhead light on and off serveral times in a row. I loudly coughed and cleared my throat. And as I had heard on tv, I even laid down and played dead. Nothing worked. It was useless. So, I waited a bit longer convinced that Spring was around the corner and this bear would eventually emerge from his den. Who can sleep this well on an airplane? (Oh, I later found out that Jignesh was on a flight only miles in front of mine with three seats to himself enjoying a winter's rest of his own). After no sign of life from my seatmate and with my bladder about to explode, I was no longer going to play nice guy. I literally shoved and kicked him to get him to release me from my pain. Still, no luck. I thought about climbing over him or asking the flight attendant to help but decided that neither were the best ideas. So, I spent the next 7 hours watching two bad movies and one not so funny episode of Whose Line Is It Anyway trying to distract myself but actually staring at this bear for any sign of life while simultaneously crying from the immense pain. I even got so desperate that I considered using the barf bag as my personal toilet. FINALLY, with exactly 54 minutes left in the flight, my neighbor woke up when the smell of pastries filled the cabin. I politely asked him to let me out and then sprinted down the aisle to freedom. That was the longest and most satisfying pee that I ever taken! So, from now you will always find me in an aisle seat!

Au Revoir.

3 comments:

Curly said...

yikes..next time take a sleeping pill.

glad you made it back safely. my flight was uneventful...

was great to see you...

Lynne said...

There is no way I could hold it that long...I would have had to go several times during the flight! Glad you were able to be with family for Thanksgiving! What are you guys doing for Christmas?

peter said...

That was crazy! You must have some sort of genetically superior bladder or something! Like a Super-Power or something ;) Glad you made it back safely!